MY ANDROGYNOUS CYBORG SELF

Her cartoon self was numb she had no thoughts.....

The Endless Ambition Diaries return after what seems like an age, too busy, too ill and too preoccupied with Facebook and Twitter. Heck when am I going to develop that vital focussed component, essential whilst attempting world domination that is the 'attention span'. I have been so hooked up with surreal TV programmes, whilst recovering from the double mastectomy, running a record label or two, going through chemo, raising three kids, a goldfish, two dogs and avoiding killing spiders and insects whilst cleaning (it's a Tibetan Buddhist thing if you will) and revelling in being a Fine Art Student and part of the NSYBA group.

Anyway how am I going to rival Kim Kardashian (I can and will rival her butt but obviously the breasts are missing) if I insist on being distracted by the likes of Judge Judy, Loose Women and the absolute high art celebrity comedy that is The Real Housewives of New York. Let's face it I am doomed, unless, unless I can find something of a super hero to fly me to the 'Pinnacle of Notoriety' (it's a real place, trust me just ask Lindsay Lohan'). Yes, Daniel Craig I so do want to be that kind of 'idiot', lost my home, got into debt in round one of cancer, which with three kids is not a joke. In round two I am compromising everything in the basic need to survive and feel useful and take care of my charges. I could do with a dose of that Kardashian stupid. From the relative low point of cancer debt and struggle, that kind of idiocy looks attractive to me. That may be because I am on steroids and chemo shrinks your brain, in point of fact but right now I am going for it Big Time.

Today I had a break through, I invented my 'super me', this is a HUGE rival to the whole 'mini me' thing and best of all it does not involve childbirth! Praise be to that, now all it takes is an ironic spirit and the capacity to turn even the most challenging experiences into a power pack for World Domination (I think I can make something of this whole cancer thing), which after all tiny people is what we are all supposed to want, is it not? Forget I am with the band, that is so, so yesterday and get with the programme and say at the top of your lungs " I am with the BRAND". One extra 'R' but two differing concepts. So here we go welcome to the world of MY ANDROGYNOUS CYBORG SELF.

1. Eye Image: She could not cry about being infertile it seemed churlish to complain she was still alive

2.Mouth Image: Her mouth was dry there were no words to convey her sense of loss. Silence.

3. Flat chested Image: Feeling feminine with no breasts or functioning womb was challenging

4. Back of bald head Image: People complimented her on the shape of her head

5. Brains in Jar Image: He said he would love her if they were brains in a jar. This helped.

6. Former Self Image: She mourned her former self and was glad she had, had a child.

7. Revelation 1. She was not afraid of dying. She was afraid of not Living.

8. Androgynous Cyborg Self Image: She was reborn as her androgynous cyborg self. She realised she was made of steel. She has magical powers that the journey had bestowed.

Her cartoon self was numb she had no thoughts.....

Links:

http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/11/30/daniel-craig-the-kardashians-act-like-idiots/

http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city

http://www.judgejudy.com/

twitter.com/eugeniearro